Archive-name: tv/mst3k/part1
Version: $Header: mst3k-part1,v 1.24 93/12/06 21:29:21 rsk Exp $

This is the "Frequently Asked Questions and Answers" mailing/posting for
fans of "Mystery Science Theater 3000".  It was originally written in
the summer of 1991, and has been revised from time to time since then.
You should probably check the date in the "Version" line above to make
sure the copy you're reading is reasonably up-to-date before sending
corrections.  Speaking of which, corrections should be mailed to:

rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu

AND should have a "Subject:" line that indicates that the message contains
corrections to the MST3K FAQ.

---Rsk

Q. What it's all about, really?

A.  MST3K is "Mystery Science Theater 3000", a program carried by "Comedy
Central", which in turn is carried by various cable companies here and there.
(MST3K was originally picked up by "The Comedy Channel", which merged
with "Ha!", changed its name to "CTV" and then to "Comedy Central".)
The idea of the show is simple: pick really bad movies (e.g. "Gamera",
"Daddy-O", "Cave Dwellers", "Fugitive Alien", etc.) and heckle them.
There are two elements that make it fascinating...

1. The cast of characters.  Our hero, Joel, has been blasted into space
by his bosses at the Gizmonic Institute, who are actually subjecting
him to these films in order to assess his reactions.  Joel, a pleasant
enough fellow, has constructed Tom Servo, Crow, Gypsy, and Cambot
from various pieces of his spacecraft in order to have someone to
share his plight.  Unfortunately, in putting them together, he used up
the parts that control when the movies begin and end...
<update in progress, Joel -> Mike>

Back on earth, Dr. Clayton Forrester and his henchman Frank select
each week's film and inflict it on Joel and his robot friends...who
respond by unmercifully shredding it from beginning to end.  We watch
the whole movie sitting in the theater behind them...except for the
portions surrounding some of the commercial breaks where they do parodies,
annoy Frank and Clayton, etc.  (Their microproduction of the
Wagner/Sandy Frank epic "Gameradaemmerung" was terrific.)

2. The heckling is good.  REALLY good.  What makes this worth watching is
that their heckling comments draw from such a diversity of sources;
in a five-minute stretch one recent Saturday, they referenced "This is
Spinal Tap", "Moby Dick", "2001", the Wall Street Journal, Don King,
Buddha...and more.  The writers for this show are incredibly culturally
literate -- and they keep in touch with current affairs as well.
Think of them as smart-asses who read the New York Times; you have to
be mentally nimble to follow some of their comments.

MST3K is the funniest thing I've seen on television since the original
Saturday Night Live (circa late 70's).  Watch it.  Tape it.  Heckle it.

Q. How do you join the fan club?

A. Just send a letter to:

	MST3K Information Club
	PO Box 5325
	Hopkins, MN 55343

You'll get a lifetime subscription to the MST3K Satellite News (formerly The
Binding Polymer), with letters and interviews, merchandise order forms, etc.

and

Your official MST3K fan club certificate, which is a full 8 1/2 by 11


and
Your official MST3K fan club card, attached to a yellow neon flyer.
The text on the flyer reads:

	"This is your MST3K MEMBERSHIP CARD.  Display it proudly, carry it
	always.  Keep it close to your heart, because if you keep it in your
	back pocket it will get all sweaty and yucky and start to come apart
	and you won't want to show it to anyone.  Or, you could take it to
	one of those places at the bus station that have those neat laminating
	machines and make it way cool.  Or, don't.  See if we care.  In any
	case thanks for being a new member."

The card itself is 3 5/8" wide by 2 3/8" tall (if you cut on the
dotted lines) and is quite suitable for carrying in a wallet.
The card bears the image of an atom (generated by computer) as
well as the legend "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 FAN CLUB.  This
certifies that (space for name), is an official member of the
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fan Club.  Member# (space)."

You'll also be on the mailing list of MST3K fans.  You'll
get notices about schedule changes, offers from Best Brains, Inc.,
discounts on merchandise (e.g. T-shirts), and other goodies.

Q. Is that different from Comedy Central's mailing list?

A. Yepper.  To get on CC's list, contact:

Comedy Central
1775 Broadway
New York, NY 10019
(212) 767-8600

Q. Back to MST3K - so what's this Live Survival Kit thingy?

A. Well, if you send a check for $5 (payable to "Best Brains, Inc.") to them,
you'll get:

(If you're in Minnesota, add 6.5% sales tax, by the way)

A piece of paper enclosing several other sheets, marked
"Classified - contains top secret MST 3000 Fan club material".
When you unfold it, the inside is the "MST 3000 'MOVIE SIGN' Home
Viewing Simulator (MSHVS)", which has the familiar picture of
theater seats and Joel and the bots at the bottom, with the instructions :

  	INSTRUCTIONS:
        1. Cut out.
        2. Place on your TV screen.
        3. Gather your favorite pals.
           (Or build them out of spare parts.)
        4. Look for a goofy movie or dumb TV show.
        5. Say stupid (and clever) things.

The sheets contained inside are:

	A list of episodes for seasons 1 and 2, e.g. the MST3K
	Experiment Guide with the lyrics to the Love Theme on the
	other side.

	The MST3K Technical Journal Vol 1 No 1 and Vol 1 No 3, and/or
	some technical updates.

	"Spark-O!" The best brains wacky rolling action figure (a really
	crude cut-out that you're supposed to tape together and put on
	top of a marble)

	The MST3K Price Rebel Icon merchandise temple catalogue, which includes
	such items as the MST3K Fluid Containment Vessel (a MST3K mug),
	the Mad Scientist Clock, the MST3K Official Command Cap
	the MST3K Bumper Stickler (a clear sticker that has the logo and
	"MOVIE SIGN" in black, the MST3K Life Survival Kit, T-shirts
	(S, M, L, XL), and Fan Photos:
	    - Joel, Tom, Crow, and Gypsy on the Satellite of Love
	    - Dr. Forrester and Frank in Deep 13
	    (note: autographs are not real...they are part of the photo)

Q. What are the lyrics to the opening song?

A. "Love Theme from M.S.T. 3000"
<update per new theme>

	In the not-too-distant future,
	Next Sunday A.D.
	There was a guy named Joel,
	Not too different from you or me.
	He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
	Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
	He did a good job cleanin' up the place,
	But his bosses didn't like him,
	So they shot him into space.

	We'll send him cheesy movies,
	The worst we can find (la la la).
	He'll have to sit and watch them all,
	And we'll monitor his mind (la la la).

	Now keep in mind Joel can't control
	When the movies begin and end (la la la),
	Because he used those special parts
	To make his robot friends.

	Robot Roll Call: (Let's go)		[ Some debate on "let's go" ]
	Cambot		(Pan left)
	Gypsy		(Hi girl)
	Tom Servo	(What a cool guy)
	Crooooooooooow  (Wisecracker)

	If you're wond'ring how he eats and breathes,
	and other science facts (la la la),
	Then repeat to yourself,
	"It's just a show, I should really just relax
	for Mystery Science Theater 3000..."

	(c) Best Brains Inc., for sticklers.

Q. Didn't the lyrics change?

A. Yup, they used to be different.  We're not exactly sure what
they are yet, but something like:

	In the not-too-distant future,
	Next Sunday, A.D.
	There was a guy named Joel,
	Not too different than you or me.
	He worked in a satellite loading bay,
	Just polishing switches to pay his way,
	He did his job well with a cheerful face,
	But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space.

	We'll send him cheesy movies,
	The worst ever made,
	Joel says when you have lemons
	You make lemonade,
	Now keep in mind he can't control
	When the movies begin or end,
	Because he used the extra parts
	To make his robot friends.

	Robot Roll Call:
	Cambot
	Gypsy
	Tom Servo
	Crooooooooooow

	If you're wond'ring how he eats and breathes,
	and other science facts (la la la),
	Just repeat to yourself,
	"It's just a show, I should really just relax
	for Mystery Science Theater 3000..."

Q. How 'bout an episode guide?

A. Well, there used to be one *right here*; but it's been moved to
a separate posting because it's starting to get too big.

Q. When is the show on?

A. (All times EST)
	Saturdays 7pm
	Sundays 10 am (repeat of previous show)

The MST3K hour has just been introduced by Comedy Central; it
features repeat episodes broken into 1-hour segments and is
carried weeknights.

Q. If I have a satellite dish, can I pick up Comedy Central?

A.  Yes, both the East (Galaxy 1, transponder 1) and West (Galaxy 3,
transponder 23) coast feeds.  The West feed runs the same
programming as the East, but is delayed by three hours.  You do need to
subscribe to Comedy Central first, though, which requires you to have an
IRD receiver (VideoCypher II Plus).  The a la carte subscription price is
somewhere between $5 and $10 per year, and is available through a number of
vendors.  Many vendors offer subscription packages that include Comedy
Central as well.  Check any satellite TV guide for their ads and pricing.

Q. Who plays what part in the show?

	Magic Voice: Jann Johnson (production coordinator) did it for
		one season; Alexandra Carr, Ellen McDonough and Kevin Murphy
		have done it since.
	Joel: Joel Hodgson
	Gypsy: Jim Mallon
	Dr. Clayton Forrester & Crow: Trace Beaulieu
	Dr. Larry Erhardt & original Tom Servo: Josh Weinstein
	Frank: Frank Conniff
	Tom Servo: Kevin Murphy
	Cambot: Himself
	Occasional extra characters, such as Jack Perkins, the Amazing
		Colossal Man, and various aliens: Mike Nelson
	Occasional extra characters, such as "Miracle Growth Baby (After)":
		Timothy Scott  ("Miracle Growth Baby (Before)" was played
		by Jim Mallon's son Eli.)

Q. Can Gypsy enter the theater?

A. Yes; she's been there briefly in three shows (Untamed Youth,
Wild Rebels or Hellcats, and Hercules and the Captive Women).  In one
episode, Gypsy tries to participate in the experiment, but isn't witty
enough to keep up...or maybe she was just overcome by nausea.

Q. What are the robots made of?

A.  Crow is mostly made of sporting equipment:

        Pingpong balls (the kind that glow in the dark, which
		explains their green-yellow hue on the set) for eyes;
		his pupils are square bits of electrical tape
        Plastic bowling pin for mouth
        His head (around his eyes) is a soap dish (!)
	Arms - adjustable desk lamp parts, with closed-cell foam tubing
		(the kind used to insulate water pipes)
		on the upper part
	Neck -- a Popeet toy
	Thing on the back of his head - hockey mask (Cooper XL7FG)
	Torso: a set of Tupperware from a set called "Floralier"
		plus part of another set.  (It was a flower-arranging set.
		No longer made.  The set consists of a tall conical vase
		that snaps into a short conical vase that then snaps onto
		a tray.  Two trays, face to face make his shoulders and
		the vases are below, turned upside down.  The whole thing
		is then spray-painted gold over its original white plastic. )
	Legs -- he has 'em, but what are they made of?  (They look
		like more lamp parts)

Tom Servo is mostly made of toys:

        Gumball machine for head (it comes in that red color)
		made by Carousel Industries of Des Plaines, IL;
		the name for it is "executive snack dispenser".
		His beak has been spray-painted silver.
        Barrel from "Kid's Barrell Bank" for body
        Flashlight heads for shoulders
        Springs or slinkys for arms
	His hands are doll hands
	His base is made of foam tubing
	His hoverskirt is made from an inverted white plastic bowl
		which in a former lift had "Happy Halloween" painted on it
		in a seriously stupid font. The black doodads adorning the
		hoverskirt are pieces of black styrene vacu-formed
		over a toy "turbo train" engine.
	The "thing" on his chest might be some sort of toy engine block.

Gypsy is made of household items:

        Flashlight for eye
        Child's car seat for head
        Hose for neck & body ("drain tile"; also used to frame
		the SOL's windows)
	Lips are foam tubing

Cambot is made of ??:
	Rotating alarm light on top
	Some sort of hose, a la Gypsy

Q. What are some of the items on the set?

A. Items spotted so far include:

	All over the set: Assorted trays, drawer organizers,
	bowls, flower pots, ice cube trays, divided dinner
	plates, cups and silverware drawer trays.

	Left Side of Bridge: Speak and Spell (see ET movie),
	plastic baseball bat, badminton racquet, child's potty
	seat, motorman's helper, Hungry, Hungry Hippos game,
	Hot Wheels storage case (shaped like mag wheel), plastic
	bowling pins, large Millennium Falcon space ship (either
	model kit or action figure playset), "Trouble" game
	with pop-o-matic center, Playschool ball with shaped
	holes in it that kids put shaped blocks into, rubber
	tyrannosaurus, toy telephone, telephone handset, egg tray,
	toy race car.

	Joel's Desk in Center of Bridge: Two bases for plastic birdbaths
	turned upside down, at least 7 cameras and one big Polaroid-type
	camera, whiffle ball, plastic angel, hair curlers, small plastic
	bowling ball, spray can tops (the buttons).

	Over Main Door: Silverware trays, Hungry, Hungry Hippos game,
	2 potty chair seats, 2 hockey-type shin guards, 2 plastic christmas
	lawn reindeer (upside down), front of a castle-shaped action
	toy playset (name unknown).

	Right Side of Bridge: Many, many toy horns and trumpets, many,
	many heart-shaped containers, 2 jello molds, 2 plastic baseball
	bats, plastic dish drain rack, another Playschool shape-ball,
	toy fencing sword, plastic ladle, plastic toy shovel, toy boat,
	toy crane, rubber brontosaurus, toy guitar or ukelele.

Q. How come Tom Servo can't walk, but can sometimes move down the seats
	in the theater? (Just Relax :-)

A. Tom Servo's means of locomotion is a hoverskirt; there's a heating grate on
the way in to the theater that Joel has to carry Tom over.  This is mentioned
in passing as they're walking out of the theater during one of the earlier
episodes (with Josh Weinstein).

Q. If I want to show some of the episodes to a group, what do I do?

A.  To get permission to screen episodes in a public or semi-public
situation, call the following person:

Tony Fox
Comedy Central
1775 Broadway
9th floor
New York, NY 10019

Office: (212) 767-8746
   FAX: (212) 767-8582

HBO controls the showing of the episodes under their contract with
BBI, so they're the ones you'll have to talk to.

Q. What is "Play MST for Me?

A.  It's a videotape made available for members of the fan club only.  It
contains songs from the various MST3K experiments.

Q. What are the differences between seasons 1 and 2?

A.  The #2 mad scientist is Frank instead of Larry.
Tom Servo's voice is different.
The opening set is a larger model.
The spaceship launch is more elaborate.
The opening credits contain different clips.
SOL background is 3D instead of painted set.
Robot Roll Call has identifying letters instead of
	Joel staring into the camera.
Cambot is different.
Joel can be seen wearing different colored jumpsuits.
Joel no longer eats grapes after hitting buttons.

Q. Where have I heard "Satellite of Love" before?

A. The Jerry Lewis Telethon people call the satellite the "Satellite
of Love".  It's also the title of a song first recorded by Lou Reed,
and about to be covered by U2.

Q. What are the words to the Weinerman song?

A.  I know a wienerman,
    He owns a wiener stand.
    He sells most anything
    From hot dogs on down.
    Some day I'll be his wife.
    We'll eat wieners all our lives.
    Hot Dog!  I love that wienerman!

Q. Is there an anonymous FTP site that archives this stuff?

A. Yepper! Anonymous FTP site info:

	Location:	"gynko.circ.upenn.edu"  or  "128.91.200.5"
	Directory:	pub/rsk/mst3k/*

PLEASE do not use this site between 8 am and 6 pm EST; the host machine
is heavily used for research during those hours.  Abuse of this policy
will cause the anonymous FTP archives to go away.

Q. What's in there, anyway?

A. The Satellite of Love Newsletter is archived in the "soln" directory;
the images and audio samples which were once archived there have been
removed due to excessive FTP traffic during research hours.

Q. How can I get to view episodes I don't have?

A. Post your request to the newsletter; we're all circulating the tapes.
Alternatively, you might want to try sending mail to someone else on
the mailing list (check the "From:" lines) who has commented on the
particular show you want -- they probably have the tape.

Q. What is the "Satellite of Love Newsletter"?

A. It's an electronic newsletter that started in the late summer of 1991
to provide a way for fans of the show to communicate with each other.
Issues come out erratically, although the editor has been heard mumbling
something about "twice a month" recently, so this might actually represent
some thinking about a semiregular schedule.  In any event, the items in
the newsletter are contributed by its readers, of which there are several
hundred.  To subscribe, drop a line to soln-request@gynko.circ.upenn.edu.
<update to reflect hiatus, resumption>

Q. How do I submit items to the newsletter?

A. Send mail to "soln@gynko.circ.upenn.edu" (This will cause
the program that files my mail to put your letter in my mst3k folder.)


	Reminder: soln-request@gynko.circ.upenn.edu for administrivia
		  soln@gynko.circ.upenn.edu for submissions

Q. How do I get back issues of the newsletter?

A. Check the anonymous FTP site at gynko (see above), or drop me a line;
I'll probably automate this at some point.

Q. Does Best Brains allow visits or provide tours?

If you're going to be in the Minneapolis area and would like to visit Best
Brains (in Eden Prairie), there are some things you should be aware of.

1. YOU MUST CALL FIRST! TOURS ARE ONLY BY APPOINTMENT, and they sometimes
try to setup more than one group at a time if they are small. Also, Best
Brains works on an 8 day production schedule (which does not include the
weekend), and they only give tours now on Fridays when they aren't shooting
the video for an episode (these are the "writing" days). This causes their
free time to "rotate", and means that the actually available day for a tour
is somewhat unpredictable.

They are very busy people during production days. Since tours occur once or
twice a month, you'll need to call at least 3-4 weeks in advance to arrange
your appointment (and call them a few days before you intend to arrive to
confirm that things haven't changed).

Contact them at (612) 941-8024 (ask for Sarah if she's available); or
via fax at (612) 941-8250.  By the way, their address is:

Best Brains, Inc.
7615 Golden Triangle Drive, #J
Eden Prairie, Minnesota 55344

The tour lasts from 30-60 minutes; depending on what's going
on, how big the group is, who happens to be in the office that
day, your questions, etc. It goes quickly.

2. Since their mailing address is a P.O. Box, you'll need to knpw how to
find them. The office is in Eden Prairie. Rather than post directions or
address information here, Best Brains has asked me to say that they
would prefer anyone desiring a visit to call them to get directions.
They want to prevent people from accidently sending mail to the wrong
address instead of the PO Box, and their office is a little tricky to
find anyone (one way roads and such). Given that their fan club is
growing extremely large rapidly, this concern is understandable and I
respect their wishes.

3. The good news is that the TOURS ARE FREE, you can often buy some
of the MST3k merchandise there directly, and THEY ALLOW YOU TO
TAKE PHOTOS! However, THEY DO NOT ALLOW VIDEO OR MOVIE CAMERAS.

Since the tour takes place on a real working day, people,
props, and sets can be pretty disorganized. What you get to see
sometimes depends on what is lying around. But, there is a
chance you'll get to see/meet one of the familiar people
involved in the production. If you promise not to feed them,
they often will come over and talk for a while ;-).

Q. Do they sell merchandise?

A. Yes, through the information club. Currently available are T-shirts,
posters, coffee mugs, lunch box, photos.

Q. Why are Tom Servo's hands flesh colored on the mug, lunchbox, and poster?

A. Tom Servo's hands and chest "engine" are now created by pouring plastic
into a mold, because the original parts are hard to find. The plastic
they use is the same plastic used in making hearing aids, hence the flesh
color.  They forgot to paint Tom's hands before taking the photos used
in the mug, lunchbox, and poster.

Q. Why is Tom Servo's head a cylinder in a few episodes?

A. The folks at Best Brains thought it would look cool if Tom had a "haircut".

Q. How many times has Tom Servo had his head blown off?

Four.  They were: The Corpse Vanishes (trying to think of a good
thing about the movie); Robot Monster (trying to figure out how
bumblebees fly); First Spaceship on Venus (sarcastism circuits overload);
and The Rebel Set (don't remember how it happened, sorry).
Additionally, in Fugitive Alien II, he comes completely apart.

Q. How many seats are there seen in the theater?

A. Seven.

Q. Are there any questions that we don't have answers for yet?

A. Yup.  Like:

	How many times has SANDY FRANK been sung?
	How many grapes has Joel been seen eating?
	How many visitors has the SOL had?

Q. Who wrote this stuff?

A. The people who contribute to the newsletter; I'm just the editor.
Among the many folks who have sent along information, notes, and general
silliness, are:

Bill Dennen, Brian Perler, Chad (Mr. B) Jackson, Charles R. Hoynowski,
Chris Cooley, Chuck Jordan, Chuck Tomasi, Dale Holod,
Dave Spensley, David Arnold, Donald Cotnoir-Strong, Donna K. Lang,
Ed Hughes, Ed Klein, Ellen Sasse, Frank G. Neves, Gerald M. Guglielmo,
Jamie Green, Jason Corley, Jeremy Billones, Joel A. Schenkenberg,
John D. Shull, Johnny Klonaris, Jonathan Hughes, Joshua R. Poulson,
Kevin Murray, Lance Visser, Larry Hastings, Lon Ponschock, Lynn-Anne Friese,
Malcolm Austin, Mark Carson, Mark Meyer, Markus De Shon, Marty Hoff,
Mary Lynn Johnson, Matt Duhan, Nina Eppes, Patrick Delahanty,
Patrick Fitzgerald, Patty Winter, Paul Ashley, Paul Thrasher, Phil Mueller,
R'ykandar Korra'ti, Rich Kulawiec, Steve Simmons, Synth F. Oberheim,
The Punster, Todd Johnson, Tom Wilson. , Will Silver, William Harrison,
William Sherman, and special thanks to Lisa Jenkins for voluminous updates
and additions, to Keith Barrett for the BBI Tour info, to Cliff Chaput
for the large list of oft-repeated phrases, and to Brian Siano for
massive updates to the episode guide.

If I've forgotten someone, please let me know.

Copyright Rich Kulawiec, 1991, 1992, 1993.
Rip this off and we'll kill you with a forklift.