"Devilism/Satanism In The Radio/Music Biz!!!"

[SATELLITE OF LOVE -- Mike, Gypsy, and Crow are standing on the bridge
    discussing something animatedly.  Tom Servo pops up in the foreground.]

Tom:    Oh, hi, everybody, and welcome to the Satellite of Love.  Mike
    and the other bots are arguing over the deep hidden meanings of the
    old '50s space-invasion movies.

Crow:   I grant you, the metaphor for Communist infiltration was part of
    it, but I think you also have to consider fear of the underlying
    social problems beneath the veneer of 50s America.

Mike:   I think you're overanalyzing this, Crow--

[INCOMING CALL LIGHT FLASHES]

Mike:   --but it'll have to wait till later; Eisenhower and Stevenson are
    calling [hits call answer button].

[DEEP 13 -- Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank are bent over a table covered
    with wiring and black boxes.  About a dozen lines of standard TV
    cable run between the gadgetry and a box on the wall.  Dr. F looks up
    from the electronic spaghetti.]

Dr F:   [to Frank] Just plug in the inputs to the audiovideo processor and
    plug the outputs to the monitor.  [to SOL crew]  Ah, hello!  You're just
    in time to witness my bid for global domination!

Crow:   [sotto voce]  What is this, the twenty-ninth one so far?
Mike:   How is a bunch of studio equipment from Radio Shack going to help
    you take over the world?

Dr F:   As you can see, we're wiring Deep 13 into the cable TV system.
    Before long, we'll be ready to hack into cable channels and substitute
    our own signal.
    
Tom:    Hey, neat!  Maybe you can combine that with the Commerical Zapper
    and get rid of those stupid Mentos ads....

Frank:  Yeah, Steve, that'd be a real public service!
Dr F:   Hah!  What do I look like, Mother Theresa?  No, I've got much more
    ambitious and subtle plans.

Mike:   What I don't understand is how you can mess with all those cable
    broadcasts without getting caught.

Dr F:   That's where the subtlety comes in, Minnow.  I'll be sending what
    looks like the same program, but with secret subliminal signals.

Crow:   You mean, like brainwashing?

Dr F:   Precisely!  For starters, I'm patching into CNN right now.  Every
    time a politician makes a speech, it's overlaid with hidden sounds
    and images designed to undermine the credibility of the U. S. Government.

Crow:   Ahhhh... does the phrase "gilding the lily" mean anything to you?
Tom:    Yeah -- that's like inventing a machine to pump water downhill.

Dr F:   [annoyed]  Well, since you aren't in an appreciative mood, why
    don't I just give you something *nobody* would appreciate -- namely,
    today's experiment.
Frank:  This one's a Ras Mikael Enoch double-feature.

Crow:   [nervously]  Well... maybe I was a little hasty in my judgment.
    Actually, that idea of yours looks really... interesting...
Mike:   [to Crow]  I don't think trying to suck up is going to help.

Dr F:   [cheerful] I'm afraid *nothing* will help you through this, boobie!
    Push the button, Frank!
Frank:  [pushes the button]


[SOL -- USUAL ALARMS AND PANDEMONIUM]


[INCOMING DOOR SEQUENCE]


 >From tafari@netcom.com Fri Aug  5 20:39:51 EDT 1994
 >Article: 3331 of ba.broadcast
 >Newsgroups: ba.broadcast,rec.radio.noncomm
 >From: tafari@netcom.com (Ras Mikael Enoch)
 >Subject: What goes around.... (Was: Lynn Gold @ KFJC)
 >Message-ID: <tafariCu2uGp.2zA@netcom.com>
 >Followup-To: ba.broadcast,rec.radio.noncomm
 >Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest)
 >X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL1]
 >Date: Fri, 5 Aug 1994 19:36:25 GMT
 >Lines: 124
 >Xref: news1.digex.net ba.broadcast:3331 rec.radio.noncomm:2187
 >

 >: Lynn Gold (figmo@netcom.com) wrote:

 >: Well, this "corrupt" station sure as heck doesn't sound like the KFJC
 >: *I* know and love!

[Mike and the bots enter the theater.]

 >: Yes, there was someone in charge of Promotions, just as there is at any
 >: pro station.  Yes, this person is in charge of who gets into concerts
 >: and events free when the station has a limited number of passes, but the
 >: method in which they're doled out is pretty fair, IMHO.

Mike:   This doesn't look like one of the Mads' experiments.  Everything
    makes sense, and it's written in coherent English.
Crow:   Enjoy it while you can....

 >: Everybody who works at KFJC has to put in eight hours of service/week.
 >: If you don't put in your eight hours, you don't get to go to shows.

Tom:    And get sent to bed without supper.
Mike:   That was pretty weak.
Tom:    I don't think the experiment's really started yet.

 >: When there are a limited number of openings to a show, the following
 >: criteria are used to determine who gets to go:

 >: . who's been putting in the most hours/work
 >: . who's been going to the most concerts

 >: If someone is putting in a lot of hours and rarely asks for a freebie,
 >: they pretty much get to go to whatever they want.  If someone is putting
 >: in a lot of hours and goes to lots of concerts, they may have to
 >: bargain with the Promotions Director for an especially popular show.

Mike:   Maybe we can bargain with the Mads for better posts.
Crow:   Fat chance, Nelson!

 >: This, IMHO, was MUCH better than what another station I worked at did where
 >: they merely drew random names from everyone who was up to date with hours
 >: who wanted to go to a show.  When I was with KFJC, I always got into the
 >: one or two shows/events a year I wanted to attend, whereas at this other
 >: station I only got into one thing, and that was only because they had
 >: lots of tickets.

 >: KFJC was my third radio station.  I thought they were pretty good.

 >: --Lynn
 >: Former KFJC Public Affairs Director
 >: now with Metro Traffic, San Jose
 >: -- 
 >: Lynn Gold             "net.fogey"                figmo@netcom.com

 >: "I want patience, and I want it NOW, DAMMIT!"
 >
 >

Mike:   No more colons.  Does that mean what I think it means?
Crow:   'Fraid so....

 >
 >
 >  I wonder if KFJC's management and staff feel regrets that you are
 >  the person that has brought their inside dealings to the public
 >  forum?

Crow:   [ominous voice]  Because now they'll have to kill you.

 >        Your misguided rant

Tom:    ...cannot hold a candle to my laser-guided rants.

 >                            concerning your adventure in the radio
 >  biz (KFJC), that was not the issue of contention, was only a sign
 >  that you wanted to expose a station's business.

Crow:   You can read excerpts from Lynn's shocking expose' in the current
    issue of _The National Enquirer_.

 >                                                   We are so very happy
 >  for you Lynn and your experiences at KFJC.  Do you speak for KFJC, or
 >  is your ex-titled position just that - ex?

Mike:   Nah, my "ex"-titled position is actually "z"....

 >                                              Are you at KFJC now?

Tom:    [exasperated]  What part of "former" don't you understand?

 >  And if not, maybe the station might have wished that you were still
 >  a member - so that they could bridle your mouth.

Mike:   Whoa!

 >                                                    Your days at KFJC
 >  are general knowledge with people at ba.broadcast, etc.

Tom:    Try though you might, your past will always catch up with you....

 >                                                           For in a just
 >  or un-just seperation from a station, it can cause many an expose', to
 >  be ushered forth

Mike:   So you should never fire anybody who knows your secrets?
Crow:   [ominous voice]  No... you should "terminate" them....

 >                   in a continual shame that is only felt by the station
 >  itself, and those that are offensive at that particular station.

Mike:   "Those that are offensive"?  Like "shock jocks"?
Tom:    Yeah, like *they'd* ever feel shame about anything!

 >  Certainly your information will increase the knowledge of other
 >  collegiate stations, that know not

Tom:    ...and care not.

 >                                     of KFJC's internal workings -
 >  for you have been so enlightening to all of us over a period of time.
 >

 >  Evil policies at stations are caused by evil people that work for
 >  certain stations.  It isn't the station that is offensive.

Mike:   Unless it carries Howard Stern's show.

 >  Exorcisms sometimes have to be conducted to rid offending stations
 >  of their heathen refuge,

All:    Huh?!

 >                           that only perpetuate the evil polices
 >  that drag a station down.  Selfishness in regards to information
 >  that should be shared amongst the station, is an item of contention
 >  in many stations.

Tom:    [official voice]  All information will be disseminated on a
    strict need-to-know basis.

 >                     Individuals who are entrusted to conduct ticket
 >  business are usually the individuals who particpate in and are
 >  the ones who are fostering fraud, deceit, and in their fudging of

Mike:   The station's financial records.
 
 >  names that are to be faxed or called into the individual clubs and
 >  venues.  Stations that continually give power to such individuals,

Crow:   ...train them for lucrative careers in politics.

 >  while driving others 'with' ethics away, are guilty of fostering
 >  an atmosphere of fraud and deceit.  I really know nothing of KFJC,

Tom:    Or anything else, for that matter.

 >  other than what you have stated Lynn.  But in the big biz of radio,
 >  there will always be evil people in leadership positions.  Sometimes
 >  devout satanists will inhabit the programming department of certain
 >  commercial and collegiate stations,

Tom:    [fire&brimstone preacher voice]  And they will play loud
    ROCK-AND-ROLL MUSIC and turn the minds of the CHILDREN toward
    SEX, and DRUGS, and PO'NOGRAPHY!!!
Crow:   [stereotypical Holy Roller voice]  Lawd ha' mercy!

 >                                    and in that, the problems will
 >  surface in backstabs against the righteous just.  I know of a
 >  disc jockey that actually had his show taken from him on Halloween,

Tom:    That's not a very nice treat.
Mike:   I guess the program director played a trick on him.

 >  at the hands of this same satanic bitch

[All jump in shock.]

 >                                        who controlled programming
 >  for the station concerned.  It was a complete backstab,

Crow:   Unlike those messy partial backstabs.

 >                                                          for never
 >  did the disc jockey hear of the conspiracy to take over his
 >  show, until the very last minute -

All:    [gleefully]  SURPRISE!!

 >                                     and with the incident, there were
 >  lies abound, concerning what actually transpired/preceeded the
 >  whole incident.  The Holloween incident manifested itself in the
 >  'total' replacement of this particular disc jockey.

Mike:   His insurance wouldn't cover replacements for just specific
    body parts.

 >                                                     This Woman
 >  satanist, giving the fellow conspirer the position.  Then there are
 >  the many other cliquish conspiracies

Crow:   There's another kind?

 >                                       and made up allegations

Mike:   Like all the ones in this post.

 >                                                               and
 >  incidents, that enable the evil in power to oust the righteous
 >  just.  I can imagine at KFJC, a college station, that muturity in
 >  the dealings between man and man, are painfully childlike and
 >  irrational.

Crow:   If you think that's bad, you should see the dealings between
    man and woman!  It's like a bad soap opera!

 >               Is this true Lynn?  You have been so very good at
 >  exposing KFJC's inner dealings for a long time, thanks.

Tom:    [exasperated]  Sheesh, he makes it sound like Deep Throat
    blowing the lid off Watergate.

 >  At many college stations (KFJC?), equal opportunity, in regards to
 >  all students being able to participate in all aspects of promotion
 >  are unfortunately not fair or just.

Mike:   What did that sentence say?
Tom:    As far as I can tell, he said that equal opportunity was neither
    fair nor just.
Crow:   Or was it promotion that was neither fair nor just?
Mike:   What he's doing to the language is neither fair nor just....

 >                                       Phony guest lists, stolen
 >  promotional records, tapes, cd's and a whole host of other illegal
 >  activities are certainly fostered in a continual blissful atmosphere
 >  by some stations management and staff.

Mike:   Didn't Ronald Reagan start out in radio?
Crow:   Yeah!  Maybe that explains the whole Iran-Contra thing....
  
 >
 >  There are many things that I could discuss that affects college
 >  and commercial radio, but I will wait till a later date.

Tom:    Preferably in a later century.

 >                                                            For in
 >  your position at KFJC Lynn, you have been most informative about
 >  many unknown happenings there.  The future looks awfully bright
 >  in regards to information coming to light and in complete truthful
 >  smears,

Mike:   "Truthful smears"?
Tom:    "Jumbo shrimp".
Crow:   "Military Intelligence".

 >          concerning radio.  We shall see what happens.  Oh my, I
 >  know much too much

Crow:   [ominous voice]  So now they'll have to kill you, too....
Tom:    Yes, *please*!

 >                   to be treated the way I have been.
 >
 >  BTW, do you know how to get ahold of the Tom Donahue people
 >  (Tom Donahue awards)?  I need to talk with them badly

Mike:   You sure know how to talk to everybody else badly.

 >                                                        about
 >  something that is of great interest to them.

Tom:    How to improve their security and keep out riffraff.

 >                                                I mean after
 >  all, when were dealing with right and wrong, why be disgruntled
 >  over backstabs

Crow:   [perky voice]  Instead, why not regard them as entertaining
    and fun for the whole family?

 >                 - just leave in the most righteous way possible.
 >  And in that, they will be painfully sorry of what was done by
 >  their own hands.  Apologies are a start, but all I hear is
 >  silence.

Mike:   I wish I could say that!

 >
 >  If the cap fits, wear it baby!
 >
 >
 >  Ras Mikael Enoch
 >
 >  * I am going to have to get ahold of this 'other' Michael Enoch
 >  that is in radio too?

Mike:   There's two of him??
Tom,Crow:   AAAAAAAA!!
Mike:   Calm down, guys -- it's over.
Tom:    [muttering]  At least part 1....

[Mike and the bots exit the theather]


[OUTGOING DOOR SEQUENCE]


[SOL -- Crow and Gypsy are standing in front of a VCR connected to an
    assortment of electronic junk.  Mike enters from stage right.]

Mike:   What is this stuff?
Crow:   We're going to find some hidden signals in cable TV broadcasts.

[A light in the middle of the electronic junk flashes.]

Gypsy:  We've got one!
Crow:   OK, let's get started.  [to Mike]  Start the tape and you'll see
    what I mean.  I've hooked the VCR and the analyzer to the hexscreen.

[Mike pushes the VCR play button.  The hexfield opens; after a moment of
    static, Beavis and Butt-Head appear.]

Mike:   Hey, guys, you know I can't stand this show.  It's almost as bad
    as the stuff the Mads send us!
Crow:   Wait a minute, till we show you the hidden message...  Gypsy?
Gypsy:  Just a minute....

[The hexfield goes to static for a moment, and then shifts to a talking-head
    adult-education program.]

Mike:   You're pulling my leg.  No way is *that* hidden inside episodes of
    Beavis and Butt-Head.
Gypsy:  It's true, I tell you!  That's the signal I get.

[The hexfield shifts several more times from TV show to TV show, as if
    someone were channel-surfing.]

Crow:   Wha...?
Mike:   Crow, Gypsy, maybe you're on to something, but I think it needs
    more work.

[Tom Servo enters from stage right, holding a TV remote control in his
    beak.]

Tom:    Mike?  [TV remote drops; the hexscreen changes programs again.]
    Could you help me with this thing?  I thought I could work it by
    biting down on it just so, but it's not working out....

[COMMERCIAL SIGN LIGHT]

Mike:   We'll be right back.


[INCOMING DOOR SEQUENCE]


 >From tafari@netcom.com Wed Aug 10 20:02:13 EDT 1994
 >Article: 3451 of ba.broadcast
 >Newsgroups: ba.broadcast,rec.radio.noncomm
 >From: tafari@netcom.com (Ras

Tom:    ...al Ghul.

 >                             Mikael Enoch)

Tom:    Close enough.

 >Subject: Devilism/Satanism in the Radio/Music Biz!!!

Crow:   Is that Devilism in the Radio Biz and Satanism in the Music Biz,
    or a mixture of both?
Mike:   You've got your Devilism in my Satanism!
Crow:   You've got your Satanism in my Devilism!

 >Followup-To: ba.broadcast,rec.radio.noncomm
 >Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest)
 >X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL1]
 >Date: Tue, 9 Aug 1994 19:36:05 GMT
 >Lines: 119
 >Xref: news1.digex.net ba.broadcast:3451 rec.radio.noncomm:2199
 >

 >:Mark Haase (mhaase@pipeline.com) wrote:

 >:>tafari@netcom.com (Ras Mikael Enoch) wrote:

Crow:   Hey!  Do we have to read this again?!

 >:>  Sometimes devout satanists

Tom:    Don't you just hate those backsliding lip-service Satanists?
Mike:   Or should that be "forwardsliding lip-service Satanists"?

 >:>                             will inhabit the programming department
 >:> of certain commercial and collegiate stations, and in that, the
 >:> problems will surface in backstabs against the righteous just.
 >:> I know of a disc jockey that actually had his show taken from
 >:> him on Halloween, at the hands of this same satanic bitch who
 >:> controlled programming for the station concerned.  It was a complete
 >:> backstab, for never did the disc jockey hear of the conspiracy to
 >:> take over his show, until the very last minute.

Tom:    [exasperated]  Well, they didn't exactly send him a memo....

 >:>  The Holloween incident manifested itself in the 'total' replacement
 >:> of this particular disc jockey.


 >: Wow!  Kinda like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"?


 >  Welcome to the 'Radio Biz'.
 >
 >  The total replacement did not actually connotate an 'Invasion of
 >  the Body Snatchers' type scenario.

Mike:   It was more along the lines of "The Manchurian Candidate", with
    just a dash of "Invaders From Mars".
Crow:   Do you mean the original "Invaders From Mars", or the later
    color remake?
Mike:   Oh, the original, definitely.

 >                                      Unfortunately Satanic
 >  children

Tom:    [stereotypical cranky old man voice]  Lousy kids!  Leaving their
    pentacles all over the sidewalk!  In my day, they always made us
    erase them when we were done!

 >           along with their 'Cicle of Power',

Crow:   Hail, hail, fire and snow.  Call Ras Mikael, we shall go....

 >                                              will encompass
 >  management and decision making positions at radio stations.

Mike:   Sounds like the management back at Happy Temps.

 >  Their decisions are mixed with scheming plots and manipulation
 >  of events, to further their conspiring devious agenda.

Tom:    Revealed in Bob Woodward's book, _The Agenda_.
Mike:   Isn't that book about the Clinton Administration?
Tom:    Close enough.

 >  Look around at the influence that Satanic lyrics, music, groups,
 >  messages and material have on local and other radio stations.
 >  If you cannot see it,

Mike:   Of course I can't see it!  It's *radio*!

 >                        then you unfortunately are not in touch
 >  with the ever pervasing amount of material that is being pushed
 >  today.  Alternative music and labels are the breeding ground,
 >  and their material floods certain stations, that do use it.
 >  Loser Satanists following and extolling a loser like Satan,

Crow:   ["Satan" voice]  Hey!  Who are you calling a loser!  I *wowed*
    'em in Vegas, you hear!

 >                                                              will
 >  promote an image that is flattering to such a loser.  Look at
 >  the radio biz environment, you will find it.  More often than 
 >  not, non-commercial stations are the prime satan influence
 >  injectors into our society.

Tom:    Obviously, this guy hasn't seen the commercials they play on
    Comedy Central.  Talk about evil!

 >                               Then we all wonder why the children
 >  of today's society are so very much aligned to destroy this
 >  world,

Crow:   They've been reading too many posts from alt.destroy.the.earth.

 >         and in many times 'taking their own lives'.

Tom:    That would sort of follow, unless they came up here first and
    destroyed the world later.

 >                                                      Satanism
 >  is very much alive in the Music Industry,

Mike:   I thought it died out with vinyl, because they couldn't figure out
    how to play CDs backwards.

 >                                            and is recruiting
 >  more and more children, just by the existence of just such
 >  stations that are known for such satanic image promotions.

Tom:    [goofy DJ voice]  Hi, kids!  If you're the six hundred and
    sixty-sixth caller, you can exchange your immortal soul for
    Metallica tickets!

 >  So in that, they come, and they come, into an environment of
 >  fellow satanic acceptance into a once undefiled station(s).

All:    Conform... conform... conform...

 >  Then, the remaining vestiges of righteousness and truthfulness
 >  at these transformed instituions, find it terribly hard to
 >  co-habit

Crow:   I thought people co-habiting was part of Satan's agenda.
Mike:   I don't think that's what he means.

 >           with allegations of lies, conspiracies, overthrows,
 >  coups and darkness shrouded in the image of lightness and
 >  justice.

Tom:    Geez, is he talking about a radio station or the Kremlin?

 >
 >  Unfortunately it usually is too late -

Crow:   [sad, shocked voice]  Why don't they look?

 >                                         in their sudden shame
 >  and awareness that their logos and outward public images
 >  only point to the most infernal loser personage/image of all
 >  time/history that has been selected for that particular
 >  organisation or station.

Tom:    Or, if you prefer, organization/station.

 >                            Look for it, and you will find them.
 >  The Devil who is Satan,

Mike:   Not to be confused with The Devil who is Dr. Forrester.
Crow:   I take it you're feeling bitter about this whole 'experiment'
    thing.
Tom:    With posts like this, who wouldn't be?

 >                          is destined to be bound in a fiery hell
 >  for eternity - so who would take such an image?  The Devil is the
 >  father of all lies

Crow:   Although he gets help from politicians and corporate PR flacks.

 >                     - and in that, while checking out the internal
 >  workings of certain stations, one will find that conspiracy and
 >  underhanded dealings are business of choice.
 >
 >  Satan's crowd in commercial and non-commercial radio has to go.
 >  Members with rational thought,

Tom:    [exasperated]  Yeah, like this guy would know rational thought
    if he tripped over it!

 >                                 find it abhorent that individuals
 >  within their organisations and companies, would cast such a
 >  loser image to and upon the public, that only reflects their own
 >  company, business and or radio station's image.
 >
 >  The Devil who is Satan - Is a loser!  And those who take such
 >  an image will be deemed losers.  Losers they are,

Crow:   Takes one to know one, Ras....

 >                                                    and always
 >  hell bent on progamming that is no longer entertaining, but
 >  only to annoy.

Tom:    Like Rush Limbaugh?

 >                  Noise deemed as music, with no redeeming
 >  quality whatsoever.  Satanic chants and drivel spouted over
 >  bad music.

Mike:   Sounds like a concert I went to a couple weeks before the
    Mads sent me up here.

 >              Their programming will certainly be affected.
 >  While conspiring to take out the popular shows, they eradicate
 >  the reason that the station has such a high rating amongst its
 >  listeners.  Non-consistent programming in an aire of fund
 >  raising that makes one laugh, why?

Tom:    Hey, he's talking about Comedy Central!

 >                                      Grand statements that
 >  make you happy that you are giving to a station that has
 >  systematically gotten rid of all of the quality, rather
 >  than noise that now prevails.  Satan likes noise, not music.

[Mike puts his hand in his armpit and pumps his arm in order to
    make escaping-air noises.]
Crow:   ["Satan" voice]  Hey, that's great!  Let me make a couple phone
    calls, and we'll get you a recording contract!

 >       
 >  Time to take sides,

Tom:    [singing]  Which side are you on?  Which side are you on?

 >                      or all will fall with him and his image.
 >
 >  For it is Satan's children and their instigation into plots
 >  of lies and in turn coups of overthrow, that invoke response
 >  from the just, that have been thus deemed prey by those in
 >  unrighteous and conspiring leadership.  YOU started the fight
 >  that YOU WILL LOSE most publicly in the end.

Crow:   ["Satan" voice]  Izzat so??  Well, we'll see who whips whose
    keister around here!

 >
 >  What goes around, comes around.
 >
 >
 >  Ras Mikael Enoch
 >  KEXO FM (They don't speak for me, and I don't speak for them.)

Mike:   I'm sure KEXO-FM appreciates that disclaimer, Ras.

 >
 >  * I do exorcism.  Some say they take too long,

Tom:    Like your posts.

 >                                                 but in the end
 >    the offending spirits are eradicated

Crow:   For a slight extra charge, I also get rid of rats, roaches,
    ants, and other household pests.

 >                                         - in a murmur that is
 >    often heard

Tom:    [snooty voice]  Oooo, is the *great* Ras Mikael Enoch going
    to exorcize us?

 >                "we should have never pissed Ras Mikael Enoch
 >    off" like we did.
 >

Mike:   That's it, guys.
Crow:   Finally!

[Mike and the bots exit the theater]


[OUTGOING DOOR SEQUENCE]


[SOL -- Mike, Tom, Crow, and Gypsy are having a discussion.]

Crow:   What I don't understand is how a Satanic radio conspiracy is
    supposed to operate.  Sure, they spread all this so-called "devil music",
    but so what?
Tom:    Well, music has a powerful influence on culture.
Gypsy:  And mood.
Mike:   The part I always remember is the claims about backward-masked
    subliminal messages--

[INCOMING CALL LIGHT FLASHES]

Mike:   Speaking of which, the Mads are calling.  Maybe they have something
    more to say about Doctor Forrester's plan to conquer the world with
    hidden messages on TV [hits answer button].

[DEEP 13 -- Dr. Forrester has set up a large TV monitor, connected to his
    experimental apparatus.  This monitor shows a smaller version of the
    entire Deep 13 scene, complete with recursive images of the monitor
    itself.  Frank is operating the controls.]

Dr F:   Hello.  I've got another experiment for you today--

Tom:    Hey!  No fair!  That last experiment was pain enough for one day!

Dr F:   Fair, schmair!  Not that it matters, since *this* experiment is not
    only [sneers momentarily] painless, but absolutely unnoticeable.

Mike:   You mean your subliminal message projector?

Dr F:   Right the first time.  Once Frank activates the Sublimatron [gestures
    for Frank to do so, which he does], my messages will be invisibly but
    compellingly added to our communication link.

[A prominent text crawl, a la "Comedy Central News Bites", appears on the
    screen.  It says, "BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP DOCTOR CLAYTON FORRESTER".]

Tom:    Gee, aren't subliminal messages supposed to be less obvious?

Dr F:   What are you talking about?

[Dr. F turns to look at the monitor, which is displaying the text crawl.]

Dr F:   FRANK!!

Frank:  Hmmm... must be a little bug -- maybe I'd better shut it down.
Dr F:   No... that might lose some vital clue.  Best to leave it running
    for now.

[Another text crawl starts to appear, seen on the monitor by Frank, but
    not by Dr. F, who is studying the equipment.]

Frank:  I *really* think shutting it down would be best....
Dr F:   Frank, for the fifty-ninth time, I don't pay you to *think*.

[The text crawl can now be read.  It says, "DOCTOR CLAYTON FORRESTER IS
    THE GOD OF NERDLINESS".  It stops and flashes *brightly* in place.]

Frank:  [nervously]  Besides, we need to shut everything down here before
    I push the button to finish the other experiment or there'll be a power
    surge or something....
Dr F:   Oh, all right.  Shut it down and push the button, Frank.

[Frank turns off the equipment, then leans over to push the button.]

Dr F:   [voiceover]  Hmmm... there seems to be some text burned into the
    monitor.  Where's my penlight, Frank?  Frank??



                    MiSTing by Steve Brinich
     \  |  / 
      \ | /         Mystery Science Theater 3000 and associated characters
       \|/        are trademark and copyright 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. and
    ----O----     used without permission for satirical purposes only.
       /|\ 
      / | \         This post is not intended as a personal attack upon
     /  |  \      the original author, and is meant only as entertainment
                  and commentary on the content of the original post.



  >  Sometimes devout satanists will inhabit the programming department
  >of certain commercial and collegiate stations,

Steve Brinich - steve-b@access3.digex.net

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