MSTed: B Creme: Part 3 of 4

From: burton@lobster.gsfc.nasa.gov (T-Bone)

[We come back from commercials to see Mike and the bots gathered round  
together on the Satellite of Love.]

TOM: Mike, what is the deal with these predictions?
MIKE: What do you mean, Tom?
TOM: It seems to me that this Maitreya character makes predictions at a time 
      when any well-informed person can see that the prediction is obvious.
MIKE: Well, ...
CROW: It's not just that, Mike. We're only seeing these alleged successes. I
      mean, if he had predicted in 1988 that Raisa Gorbachev would cause the
      downfall of her husband's political career by becoming a groupie for
      Stone Temple Pilots, I doubt that it would be printed because there of
      the damage it would do to this organization. 
MIKE: Okay, this is a common problem with people who deal with predictions
      but don't have a working knowledge of statistics or logic. Let me see,
      how do I best explain this ... Okay, let's say you just played darts
      for two straight days.
CROW: This isn't going to degrade into an Andy Capp sketch is it?
MIKE: No, Chalkie. Now, you've played darts for two days, okay? And let's
      say you just marked all the really good scores, like triple sixteens
      and double twenties and so on. Now, at the end of two days, what do
      you have?
TOM: No life?
CROW: A sore arm and the worst breath of the day?
MIKE: No, Alexandra and Sebastian, you'd have what John_-_ just showed us: a
      list of successful dart throws and nothing about the shots where the
      dart slipped, you hit the cat, or when you almost poked your roommate
      in the eye. 
TOM: Oh, so Maitreya's obvious little predictions are even worse than we
      first thought because he won't tell us the whole truth.
MIKE: Right; it's kinda like a resume: you only talk about your successes,
      like being on the student council your senior year, but you don't list
      your failures, like the other three times you WEREN'T elected to
      student council.
CROW: I get it. If people as addle-pated as John_-_Winston found out that he
      was occaisionally wrong, then they wouldn't substitute Maitreya as the
      god-figure in their lives.
TOM: No, they'd just listen to Clapton instead.

[Lights, buzzers, etc]

MIKE: Oh no, it's movie sign!

[1...2...3...4...5...6...]

>From: John_-_Winston@cup.portal.com

MIKE: Well, before we start the last NASCAR race of the year, let's go over
      to Gary Lee with the Winston Cup standings.
CROW: Thank you, darl-, uh, David. As we look at the leader board for the
      Winston Cup, one driver's name really jumps out:
ALL: Dick Trickle!

>Newsgroups: alt.pagan,alt.dreams,alt.mythology,alt.fan.john-winston

MIKE: I still can't believe this guy has fans.
CROW: Well, you get enough loons together, ...
TOM: Stranger things have happened ...
MIKE: Exactly.
TOM: That horse becoming Pope ...
MIKE: For one.

>Subject: B. Creme. Part 3.

CROW: Or not B. Creme. That is the question.

>Message-ID: <114359@cup.portal.com>
>Date: Wed, 15 Jun 94 20:32:31 PDT

TOM: "PDT"?
CROW: "Pathetically Dumb Topic"

>Organization: The Portal System (TM)

MIKE (surfer-dude voice): More like Portal-let System
CROW (s-dv): Yeah, good one, dude.

>References: <84562@cup.portal.com> <84576@cup.portal.com>
>  <110007@cup.portal.com> <CovBA0.8En@cuug.ab.ca> <110330@cup.portal.com>
>  <113304@cup.portal.com>

CROW: Ah, Mr. Winston, you have a nasty habit of posting.

>Lines: 200

ALL (singing):
     "Two hundred lines of text in the post,
      Two hundred lines of text!
      Ya take one line
      And MiST it real fine.
      One hundred ninty-nine lines of text in the post!"

>Xref: news.gsfc.nasa.gov alt.pagan:35209 alt.dreams:9387 alt.mythology:4974

TOM: I call Wolverine!
MIKE (whispering): That's X-*Men*!

>
>Subject: Creme. Part 3.

TOM (singing): May be a spoonful of coffee...

>
>  With no further statements we now go into part 3.

MIKE: Hold on, that's a statement, and it's further along that the Subject:
      line above, ...

>
>QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

CROW: Obvious question: Why?
TOM: Obvious answer: Ego

>
>        Questions dealing with the activities of Maitreya and the
>Hierarchy of the Masters of Wisdom,

MIKE: Tonight on a very special _Law & Order_.

>and about the Ageless Wisdom
>Teachings,

TOM: I bet Tom Lehrer teaches the new math better.

>which have not been answered in his books,

MIKE: Let alone these posts

>are answered by
>Benjamin Creme in this section.

CROW: Oh, is the great Benjamin Creme going to grace us with his answers?

>Benjamin Creme does not seek

TOM: He just hides.

>to set
>himself up as an arbiter

MIKE: Benjamin Creme, you are a complete knee-biter!

>of the authenticity of other group's activities
>and communications.

CROW: Mr. Creme's opinions do not necessarily represent those of our
      organization or of a sane man.

>Please refrain from posing such questions.

MIKE: However, feel free to pose like Kathy Ireland.

>
>        Send your written questions to:  Share International/Questions, 59
>Dartmouth Park Road, London NW5 1SL, UK.

TOM: I'll just repeat that address:
      The Royal Frog Trampling Institute...

>
>
>Q.  Has Maitreya made any more appearances since last month?
>

CROW: Well, he was on Letterman to discuss his new album...

>A.  Maitreya's appearance in Sicily on 10 April was in Palermo.

MIKE: He looked stunning in a flowing Bill Gibb creation.

>On 24
>April Maitreya appeared and spoke to around 500 Catholics in Orleans,
>France, for 16 minutes.

TOM: He really won them over when he told that great joke about the pope
      being mistaken for Elvis.

>Water had been charged in the region a week
>earlier.

MIKE: That'll happen when a city annexes nearby burbs.

>On 1 May, Maitreya appeared before 6-700 Catholics in Spain
>where He spoke for 18 minutes.

CROW: Unfortunately, he didn't speak Spanish and unintentionally spent the
      whole time asking the crowd to send for a hall porter because there
      appeared to be a frog in his bidet.

>Eighty-five per cent recognized Him as the
>Christ.

TOM: The other 15% were sober.

>Water had been charged in the area three months before.

MIKE: Why worry about the water? Is one of Maitreya's predictions that the 
      utility companies will try to raise their rates?

>
>
>Q.  How does Maitreya choose sites for energizing water around the world?
>

CROW: A better question: Why?

>A.  On the basis of the availability of very long term, more or less
>inexhaustible, underground supplies.

TOM: It's called fantasy: we give you what you need and want with no work
      and at no cost.

>
>
>Q.  Do you think it will be a problem that only a small amount of the
>world population have heard your message?

MIKE: Not really; that just makes it less likely that they're coming to take
      me away, ha ha.

>
>A.  That is not as true as you might think.

CROW: Well, assuming anyone who'd believe this would actually THINK.

>Outside the UK

TOM: And Inside the Robot Mind

>(a prophet in
>his own country is not listened to),

MIKE: True enough; look at the American professor who helped mold Japan's
      industrial revival after WWII.

>especially throughout the United
>States of America, this message is known.

CROW: First time any of US have ever heard of it.
MIKE (whispering): Crow, we're supposed to be in space, remember?
CROW (whispering): Oh, yeah...

>I have given literally hundreds
>of media interviews in the US, and I would say that millions of people
>there know this story.

TOM: However, those same millions would disagree.

>The same is true in Japan and many other parts of
>the world.

MIKE: They'd also ask "Who is this fruitcake?"

>This country (the UK) is benighted -- we have the media we
>deserve!

CROW: And just what does that say about the USA?

>
>
>Q.  Is the Master Who is supposed to come to Paris now there?
>

TOM: Hey, Jim Morrison died years ago!
CROW: So they say...

>A.  Yes, in the outskirts.
>

MIKE: Just look for the flaming queen in the frilly pink miniskirt.

>
>Q.  If Maitreya is going to communicate with everyone in a broadcast
>without speaking,

CROW: Oh no, it's Mime TV!

>is He already putting out Transmissions from where He
>is, for those who are open to this form of impression?
>
>A.  One of His major ways of appearing in the world is by impressing the
>minds of disciples.  That is what happens with people like Gorbachev, like
>Nelson Mandela, for example.

MIKE: Oh, sure, deny free will. Geez.

>
>        Maitreya is the World Teacher,

TOM: And imaginary.

>so advanced in consciousness that
>we cannot imagine it,

CROW: Hey, if we cannot imagine it, how do you know so much about it?

>and for Him to impress or overshadow the average
>person would be difficult.  The happening on the Day of Declaration is a
>unique event --

MIKE: John_-_'s outing!

>it will probably last for about half-an-hour; it could not
>be sustained for longer.

TOM: Oh, there's a joke with a great punchline that I'd love to tell, but
      there's no WAY anyone would let me.
MIKE: Well, what's the joke?
TOM: "Why is Walter Mondale nicknamed 'Fritz'?"
MIKE: Yeah, better not tell it.

>But, as reported in a reader's letter published
>in the April issue of Share International,

CROW: Maitreya has been indicted on income tax evasion.

>He impressed an identical
>message on the minds of five individuals simultaneously last year in a
>church in Glastonbury, UK.

MIKE: "Oh, I understand now: 'Neighbors' *is* a good show."

>He will repeat that on a wider scale on the
>minds of more and more people; if that is what the questioner means, then
>the answer is yes.  But more than that, no.

TOM: So, what you're saying is either yes or no, but probably the real
      answer is a definite maybe. 

>
>
>Q.  Is Maitreya putting out thoughtforms for us to respond to?

MIKE: I'm glad you asked that; I'm having a thoughtforms seminar...

>
>A.  The Hierarchy are putting out thoughtforms all the time --

CROW: Nobody *cares*, but they do it anyway.

>the
>mindbelt of the world is saturated with thoughtforms,

TOM: My favorite being TORTURE!

>many of no value at
>all, created by humanity; 

CROW: Oh, geez, *what* a straight line!
MIKE: Yeah, my mom could MiST *that*.

>but some are major ideas to which the sensitive
>minds of the race tune in.

CROW: Tune in, turn on, drop pants.

>Suddenly, all over the world, a group of
>scientists, for instance, have the same idea,

TOM: "Hey, wouldn't The Saturn V work better if we pointed it *up*?"

>which was placed there by a
>Master, or even by Maitreya.

MIKE: Yeah, well, when he uses this power to make a lot of money for himself
      through restaurants near National Lab facilities, then I'll believe 
      it.

>The Masters see the need for a certain step

CROW: Ze Goose Step! You vill march as ve say!

>forward to be taken, a certain technology, for example, to be discovered.
>They are the inspirers, the "muses", of the world.

TOM: Then why don't they PLEASE visit tv executives?

>Behind all the great
>teachers, scientists, painters and artists of all kinds have stood

MIKE: Zelig.

>the
>Hierarchy, down through the centuries.

CROW: Oh, so humans are incapable of rational, creative, innovative thought?
MIKE: Well, think of John_-_, ...
TOM: Ratliff ...
MIKE: Abian ...
CROW: Ludwig Plutonium ...
TOM: Pinhead ...
CROW: DrDarkMatter
MIKE: The US House of Representatives ...

>Rembrandt is Rembrandt

TOM: And Van Gogh is Van Gogh
ALL: And never the twain shall meet.

>because he
>was a third-degree initiate, inspired by

TOM: Coltrane, baby...

>his Master; likewise Titian and
>Mozart.  Leonardo was 4.4 degrees initiate, practically a Master.

MIKE: But he choked that putt on the 18th and never got the green jacket.

>All the
>culture of the world has been created by the initiates of the world, sent
>to stimulate humanity in the gradual expansion of consciousness which is
>evolution.

CROW: Then explain Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

>
>
>Q.  Is it only the Masters who can receive thoughtforms from Maitreya?
>

TOM: And doesn't this violate laws that protect the privacy of the
      individual?

>A.  No.  The bulk of humanity

MIKE: Hi, I'm Richard Thimminth for Deal-a-Meal!

>cannot tune in at a high enough level to the
>thoughtforms of the Masters

CROW: They keep scrambling their signal. Kinda like HBO.

>and so the culture of any civilization is
>created by the initiates of the time;

TOM: Morris Day has gotten kinda wierd lately.

>they are the ones who are inspired.

MIKE: Guys, I have a question: does my feeling inspired to laugh at this
      tripe come from those at whom I'm laughing; and if so, what does that
      say about them?
TOM: Well, I think what it says about *you* is that you need to get out more
      often.

>That is gradually absorbed and put into effect and the civilization grows
>out of the culture:

CROW: As do all sorts of bacteria, viruses, molds, ...

>the culture comes first.

MIKE: I thought it was the egg.
TOM: I thought it was the chicken. 
MIKE: But where did the chicken come from?

>
>
>Q.  I am curious to know how the media will introduce Maitreya.

TOM: As a bachelor who enjoys fine dining and yachting in the Carribean.
CROW: Then he'll appear on Leno, ...

>
>A.  The problem for the media anywhere is how to present Maitreya.

MIKE: How about with a little parsley and those little chefs hats over the
      legs?

>There are many stations, especially in the US, who have given me an open
>invitation for Maitreya to appear on their programme but who are not
>sufficiently national, and certainly not international, to allow Him to do
>so.

CROW: Oh, is the Great Maitreya just too almighty important to worry about
      wasting his time with local idiots?
MIKE: Apparently he wants humiliation on a global scale, not just in
      Milwaukee.

>But even when they are international, they have the problem of how to
>present Him impersonally -- not to say:  this is the Christ; this is the
>Messiah.

CROW: Then why do you act like he IS the Messiah?
TOM: He is not the Messiah! He's a mess alright, but he's no Messiah!
MIKE: John_-_ says he's the Messiah, and he ought to know; he's followed a
      few. 

>One of the reasons why the major networks have not presented Him
>so far,

CROW: They were too busy laughing at you?
MIKE: Even *they* know better?
TOM: Integrity?

[Crow and Mike look at Tom.]

CROW: "Integrity"? Servo, we're talking about *network* *television*.
TOM: Sorry, lost my head for a second.

>although they know of His existence,

MIKE: If his mission is discovered, they will disavow any knowledge of him.

>is that they do not want to
>take upon themselves this responsibility.

CROW: However, they will take upon themselves this lifesized Cindy Crawford
      doll.

>Who do they say He is; how do
>they present Him to a sceptical world? 

TOM: They do it with a hat party! And Jack Perkins' shall be the grandest of
      all!

[Cut to Deep 13; Jack Perkins is standing by a ladder]

JACK PERKINS: It's as entertaining as a hat party can get! Next up, Harrison
      Squealer will bore us with more Lake I'llBeDamned Daze ...

[Cut back to Tom, Crow, and Mike in the theater]

MIKE: Boy, anybody seeing that must have thought it was a negative reality
      inversion. 

>They know how sceptical they are
>so they know how sceptical the world is in general.

CROW: Ow! Those multiple pronouns hurt my puzzler...

>
>        We have provided the media with a formula

TOM: Just a delicious shake in the morning, ...

>by which they can
>present Him in a neutral way -- as an extraordinary man but not in His
>true status as the Christ.

MIKE: Oh, so you claim he is the Messiah, but you are more than willing to
      resort to lies and deception to get that message across. 
CROW: What next, an inquisition that makes a smashing great film?

>I, too, am interested to see how they handle
>it.

TOM (high-pitched voice): Just handle it, Roy! Handle-it! Handle-it! 

>
>
>Q.  Who has access to Him in London

MIKE: Well, Sir Humphrey Appleby, of course, ...

>and under what conditions of grace and
>appreciation can He be accessed?

TOM: Ooh, I hate it when people verb nouns.

>
>A.  An extraordinary thing about Maitreya is that He appears to some of
>the more advanced people in the world

CROW: As a large dog named Topper

>and to some people who, to my mind,
>are not the slightest bit advanced.

MIKE: And what does THAT tell you, Captain Pompous?

>There is no knowing why Maitreya does
>what He does,

TOM: I just know that I love him. He's a snappy dresser and an good friend.

>and no way in which I can introduce anyone to Him.

MIKE: Certainly not your parents; not this early.

>
>
>Q.  Does Maitreya want to be accessed, would you say?

CROW: Let's just say Madonna keeps showing up at his basketball games.

>
>A.  Maitreya chooses whom He sees, always.

TOM: Existentialists. I hate existentialists.
MIKE: Especially Illinois existentialists.

>Readers of _Share
>International_ know

CROW: 50,000 Maitreya fans MUST be wrong.

>that issue after issue carry extraordinary stories

MIKE: None confirmed as true...

>of
>how He has appeared to people, or passed them in the street,

TOM: Oh, *that's* dis-*gust*-ing!

>shown them
>the way,

CROW: When they were tired and wanted to go to bed, ...

>or asked for a lift in a car,

TOM: Crashed on their couch after the Dead concert,

>talked about the Christ being in
>the world,

MIKE: Asked for money to build a religious center for the reforming of
      televangelists, ...

>and then disappeared.

TOM: Hey, where's our good silverware?

>This happens all the time, all over the
>world.

MIKE (condescendingly): Of course it does. Now, wrap up warm in your
      blanket, Mr. Simnock, your cocoa will be here in a minute.

>He has a very lively sense of humour,

CROW: Yet he likes "Are You Being Served?"; go figure.

>but nothing which He does is
>done, I am sure, for no reason; for fun, perhaps, but always for some
>purpose.

TOM: To meet chicks.

>He knows who and for what reason anyone can aid His plans, and
>it is to those people, 

MIKE: Known as "The Chronically Buzzed"

>I suppose, that He appears. (Increasingly, He is
>appearing in one way or another to peope in the various Transmission
>Meditation groups around the world.)

CROW: One lady in Barcelona thought it was him, but it was just the spirit
      of her late husband Irving asking how long it takes to cook a
      potroast.

>I know people to whom He appears who
>have no status, no influence or power, who are not particularly advanced.

MIKE: But their heinders ...
TOM: Oh, I'd hate to shoot a butt like that.

>He is a law, totally, unto Himself,

CROW: The Law is the Word, ...

>and I could not say that if you do
>this, this and this you will get an interview
>

MIKE: "Why not? Because I'm making it all up as I go along, of course!"

>
>Q.  Could you give the ray

CROW: Well you can give the Ray. Or you can give the Jay...

>structure and point in evolution of
>ex-President Richard Nixon (1913-1994) who died recently?
>
>A.  Soul 3; Personality 4, sub-ray 6; mental body 3, sub-ray 3; astral
>body 6, sub-ray 6; physical body 7, sub-ray 3.  He was 1.5 degrees
>initiate.
>

TOM: Nixon had a soul?
MIKE: Hey, the man liked Cab Calloway.
TOM: Oh, yeah, there is that...
MIKE: But you're right, Servo. Anyone who would rate Nixon's physical body
      at 7 is one sick, sick puppy.

>
>Q.  Editions Amrita, in France, present a video-cassette entitled:

CROW: _Kibo's Guide to MAKE MONEY FAST_

>_Swami Premananda or the joy of loving_,

TOM: Better known as "Is that a cobra in your pocket, or are you just happy
      to see me?"

>in which one finds a new Master
>of Wisdom

MIKE: Jethro Bodine would probably be a step up.

>who not only has a physical appearance close to that of Sai
>Baba,

TOM (singing): Teenage wasteland ...

>but whose work is the same.  One can see Swami Premananda
>materialize, from his mouth, before thousands of people, five stone
>lingams.

CROW: You know, if he could make Tom and Rosanne likeable, I might believe.

>(1) Who is Swami Premananda?

MIKE: And why is he saying those nasty things about Harry Kellerman?

>(2) Are his activities
>complementary to those of Sai Baba or different?

TOM: And who really gives a monkey's shaved butt?

>
>A.  (1) Swami Premananda, according to my information, is an avatar

MIKE: who was fired from Northwest Airlines for excessive drinking.

>(for
>an interview with Swami Premananda see _Share International_, April 1983),

CROW: Look for a copy in your grocer's checkout aisle

>who is continuing, to some extent, the work of Sai Baba;

TOM: And that work would be?!?!
MIKE: My guess: confusing and deluding for fun and profit.

>for example, for
>some years now, he has produced the lingams mentioned in the question,

CROW: and is now dating Greg Louganis.

>once produced by Sai Baba, at the annual Shivalingam Ceremony.

TOM: Headlined by Clannad and The Pogues.

>(2) His
>work is complementary to that of Sai Baba.
>

CROW: You avoided the question skillfully, Senator.

>
>Q.  I have recently been to see Mother Meera, who works in her silent way.
>Would you say that she is an Avatar, as some believe?

MIKE: No, more like a wierdo than an avatar.

>
>A.  I would say no, she is not an Avatar.  She is a disciple of one of the
>Masters.

CROW: ANd ThE MasTeR wOuLD nOt apPRoVe oF ThIS IntErvIeW.

>
>
>Q.  If a God of Love created the world why is there so much suffering?

TOM: Maybe because your assumption is wrong? 

>
>A.  In creating humanity,

MIKE: Make sure you have papers spread on the floor before you start.

>the Creator gave us free will,

CROW: But won't let us use it.

>without which we
>would never develop into responsible, right-intentioned co-workers with
>the Divine.

MIKE: So the ultimate in spiritual fulfillment is to be in a John Waters
      film?

>Our suffering is the result of

TOM (imitating Divine): "Assholism!"
MIKE: Uh, Tom, that's enough of that. 
TOM: But Mike, ...
MIKE: I agree, but that's enough.

>the action of the Law of Cause
>and Effect (the law of karma).

CROW: Sounds more like Newton than Karma.

>If -- as we do -- we misuse our divine
>free will,

MIKE: The angels cry.

>we suffer, and will continue to suffer, until we learn
>harmlessness.
>

TOM: Or are forced into an Invisible Fence.

>
>Q.  Do you really believe that with the advent of Aquarius the world of
>persecution, hatred and domination will become a world of respect and
>charity?

CROW: Hell no!

>
>A.  Yes, indeed.

MIKE: I can see that, since mankind has had less than 250 years of peace in
      all of recorded history.

>The quality of the energy of Aquarius is that of
>Synthesis.

TOM: Brought to you through clean, efficient natural gas.

>That will blend and fuse humanity into

CROW: Maitreya's race of love slaves.

>an experience of
>oneness.  With the presence of Maitreya and His group of Masters

MIKE: This will be the best rock tour of the year.

>physically among us I have no doubt that we will build,

CROW: Yes, big sweaty men, working hard to get the job done; desperately in
      need of AquaVelva.

>under Their
>inspiration and guidance, a civilization worthy of our divine origin

TOM: Cleveland.

>-- a
>Golden Age is in the making.
>

MIKE: Unfortunately, Tim Allen is building it.

>Part 3.

TOM: Let's go

[They begin to leave.]

>
>JW  Seems like we always get back to the Golden Age.

ALL (singing as they leave):
      O them Golden Ages, 
      O them Golden Grahams.

[...6...5...4...3...2...1...]

CROW: Mike, there is something about this that is really, really bothering
      me.
MIKE: The inane predictions?
TOM: The useless and uninformative interview?
MIKE: The appeal to emotion rather than logic?
TOM: John_-_'s track record of ignoring the laws of physics?
CROW: No, besides that. This was crossposted to alt.mythology, right?
MIKE: Yeah.
CROW: SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MYTHOLOGY?!?!?!?!

[Crow begins to run amok but Mike quickly grabs him and calms him down.]

MIKE: Easy, Crow; it's not all that bad.
CROW: Yes it is. Mike, people use the newsgroups as a forum for discussion,
      right?
MIKE: In theory, but there are exceptions.
TOM: Like the sports groups; those are mainly for proving your manliness, or
      lack thereof.
CROW: True enough, but I used to read alt.mythology before hyphen-boy came
      along. It was a nice, friendly little group where people discussed the
      gods and beliefs of ancient civilizations. But now, ...
TOM: Let me guess, it's like when that loser kid that no one likes moves
      into the neighborhood. You're playing whiffleball in the street with
      your friends, having fun, when suddenly the Eyore of the neighborhood
      comes out and immediately everyone remembers how they have to walk the
      dog, or go to Aunt Sarah's, and so on.
CROW: Exactly! Winston is ruining one of the better newsgroups on the net
      and [beginning to cry] it's just Not FAIR!! [Crow starts crying on
      Mike's shoulder; Mike turns at Servo with a 'Help me!' look on his
      face]
TOM: Oh, geez. Uh, say, Crow, you know the good thing about Winston and his
      posting to alt.mythology?
CROW: What? [sniff]
TOM: People are getting really good at using killfiles.
MIKE: Look, Crow, every newsgroup has its resident kooks. Heck,
      rec.sport.basketball.pro and rec.sport.football.college are *rampant*
      with them. 
TOM: And don't forget our friends on alt.startrek.creative.
MIKE: Right. Just think of John_-_Winston as the local idiot fool, and fight
      back by ignoring him and posting thought-provoking articles about
      Dagda, Inuit beliefs, Quetzlcoatl, Indra, and Nike.
CROW: Just post it.
TOM: Think about it won't you? Thank you.
MIKE: Good night!
CROW (as Red Skelton): And may gods bless!

[Lights flash, Mike hits the button for commercial sign.]

[The commercial for Burger King that we'd all like to see: Barder Meinhof
 sprays that Lion King conga line with Uzi rounds, much to the delight of
 people everywhere. Madonna is caught in the crossfire to the dismay of no
 one.]

Go back to John's MST3K Page.